Two Worlds... One Life

Time flies when you're havin' fun...

2008-07-11T02:45:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how fast time goes? You probably did... everyone does at some point. But it always seems to be too late. Ya know, when life has seemed to pass you bye. Then you look back and wish you would have taken advantage of the time you were given. I am trying my hardest not to do this with this experience of Entourage. I am traveling all over the place, seeing some of the most beautiful places and meeting the greatest people (all of whom are very different from one another) and somehow I feel like I'm missing some of it. What does it take to really savor a moment? Is it about attitude? A mindset? Or is it simply letting go, being free and just being yourself? Freedom brings a sense of joy and beauty into everything... so take risks, let go, be yourself and most importantly be free! Time will always fly by... might as well make the most of every opportunity!

Already half way done...

2008-07-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that already we are half way done with our adventure
on Entourage. This summer has been so amazing and unexpected. Going
into something like this you really have no idea what to expect. Two
weeks of training, months of preparation and many friends telling me
stories of their summers on the team... I am still blown away. There
are certain things you just have to experience for yourself to
understand.
We have the opportunity to impact lives just because of the title we
hold. That has been crazy to me! While at Vanguard making this team is
such a big deal... Then you get to camps and all of that fades away.
The kids are enthralled with us but all we long for is a deep
conversation with them. I love to seek out the students that are
sitting by themselves and find out their story. It seems that kids
wilk tell us anything... They are so open just wanting someone that
really cares. To be that person to someone else is more than I could
ever ask for.
Entourage is known for being funny but that is not our favorite part
of our job by any means... Nor is it the majority of what we do. I am
not sure I have ever been this exhausted in my entire life. We are
doing things from about 8:30am to 1am. Needless to say I hate the
sound of an alarm going off. The worst job yet: cleaning the tab
(where they have service) at midnight. I hated that job... Poor Dale
often has to do it by himself. You should pray him. The best job:
running the zipline in New Mexico. We got to help kids conquer their
fears and when we were done we got to soar down ourselves! So fun!
Some interesting people...
Dale: (already mentioned above) he loves Star trek and always gave
high fives in the spock symbol. Oh Dale!
LeeAnn: a girl from New Mexico camp that started every conversation
with and compared everything to waffles. Wow is all I have to say!
Becca: stayed in my dorm in Colorado and was by my side at every
moment of every day.
We have had an amazing opportunity to be with such incredible people.
That also makes it one of the hardest parts of our job... We meet cool
people, build relationships with them not knowing if we will ever see
them again!
Lives are surely being changed. I have seen kids be completely
transformed in one week. Miracles have happened right before my eyes.
There was a girl in New Mexico that had been deaf her entire life and
now she can hear! One thing I have learned is it does not matter how
the speaker is or how powerful the worship is or how goofy we are...
God is sovereign and he will work regardless of us! I want to praise
him for the rest of my life!
Missing all of you and loving life...

Leaving Soon...

2008-06-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that we are leaving in only two days to go to Arizona. This past week has been wonderful and I am so grateful we had a week off before we leave. Last weekend we went to San Diego to stay at Kristin's house. We just relaxed, went to the beach, got manicures and pedicures and had home cooked food... yum! It was so relaxing- exactly what we needed before we head out. We have been able to go to the store and stock up on things that we need for the trip. It is amazing how much you have to get before you go on a trip: ridiculous!!! :) Oh Well. I have also had the chance to hang out with my wonderful friends before I head out. I will miss them dearly!

Well, we have been able to play a lot of Nertz (card game), make our apartment a disaster, go to disneyland, try cooking some meals, and watch a lot of movies... needless to say I think we are ready to hit the road!

Till next time- God bless!

Ending one adventure and on to the next...

2008-05-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

I just wrapped up one of the greatest journeys I have ever traveled. Life as an R.A. was more than I could have ever imagined or expected. Going into the job I really didn't know what to expect. I simply opened my arms and said, "God, work in me. Do whatever you want with me." He definitely rocked my world. Looking over this past year I can honestly say I am not the same person as I was a year ago. I learned so much while being on the Catalina R.A. staff-
1. I learned what true community is. My staff of eight amazing women surrounded me with love and care that was beyond anything I have ever experienced in a church. I was continually saying, "this is what it means to be the church." We knew we could ask each other for something without worrying about repaying one another. We didn't worry about offending one another; we lived in true acceptance of one another and loved each other for our differences. We shared everything- not worrying about what is mine and what is yours. We were a family! Ashley, Ally, Britters, Jessie, Jessica, Alaina, Katie and Bethany- I love you!!!
2. I learned how to feel- My year started with the realization that I had closed myself off from actually feeling any true emotion. Bethany, along with several other people, challenged me to be real with myself so I could in turn be real with others. I learned how to be vulnerable and honest. God took my brokenness and made it into something lovely.
3. I learned a lot about love! I have an amazing God who pursues me daily. He loves me even though I mess up daily. His love has been utterly amazing to me over the last year. There have been sweet sweet moments with him where all I wanted to do was sit in his arms. I also have an incredible boyfriend that daily models Christ's love- not just to me but to everyone around him! He has loved me into a better version of myself. I am still trying to learn from him what it means to sacrifice, to put other people's needs before your own and to love unconditionally. Thank you Chris for teaching me so much! I have a family that pours into me and supports me in all my dreams and aspirations. I am shown so much love from them daily- even when no words are spoken. Thank you for cutting me some slack, taking care of me when I was sprawled across the couch for a week and for sacrificing a lot to come visit me!
4. I learned that love and grace can go a long way!
5. I learned to take risks, do things I would have never done and to savor the moments in life.
6. I learned to walk alongside God in a partnership of ministry allowing him to be my strength and motivation.
7. I learned to find rest in my heart even if I can't find it anywhere else!
8. I learned that among all the things we do on this earth- people are the most important!

The list could go on forever... that will do for now!

Wrapping up that journey and saying goodbye to a job that allowed me to practice a lot of my gifts, talents and things I love to do was difficult! I hated saying goodbye to everyone, knowing that I will never again experience anything like that again! Now, I am on to another adventure: Entourage!

We are in training week right now, learning all of the ins and outs of our job. We leave on June 8th to travel around the Western United States to Youth Camps. We have the opportunity to impact lives, serve students and promote Vanguard. It is an honor to be a part of this team. I don't know quite what to expect... it is scary, exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. We'll see what God has in store this time...

Best Friends in the World...

2008-01-29T15:40:00.000-08:00

God has blessed me more than I could have ever asked him to. Since being back at Vanguard for the semester I have been sick. (It is amazing what God can teach you through sickness). My friends have taken such great care of me! Here is a shout out to Ally, Jessica, Kristin, Chris, and Katie for taking care of me!

This school year has been so amazing and as I think about its coming to a close I get extremely sad. I have been surrounded with a family here at school. The Catalina R.A. staff has taught me what true community looks like. We have such a good time together. In fact we can't seem to get enough of each other. My whole life I have longed for friendships where there is love, period. No expectations, ladders to climb or anything to prove and I finally have that in this group of girls. We love each other. That is it! We will do anything for one another... without expecting something in return.

I have been learning how to appreciate people for their differences. Though we love each other very much we are also very different. The great part about working on a team is you have to work around those differences. Many people see them as hindrances but I think each of us bring something so unique to the team... I wouldn't want it any other way! I simply have the greatest job in the world!

I just applied to be on the drama ministry team- Entourage. If you don't know what that is ask me... we'll talk. If I make it I will be traveling all summer with three other women to youth camps to minister to students and recruit for Vanguard. I have always wanted to be a part of this team and feel called to this this summer. Please pray with me... I find out this week.

Chris and I are doing great! God sure does teach you a lot in relationships. He has loved me into a better version of myself and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Don't get too excited. There is no ring on my finger yet... we just know that is where we are headed! I thank God for him daily and have learned so much from him!

Jesus has a way of rocking your world...

2007-10-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged! The past month seems to have been a whirlwind! My days and weeks all seem to run together. I write this today to give you an update on my life. It won't be me telling you everything is amazing cause that simply is not real. God has turned my life upside down! Luckily as he breaks us he also holds us and molds us. Where should I start?
First of all, I came into this year wanting so much to balance Chris, my friends and the girls on my floor. I was extremely purposeful with my time with them and honestly did a pretty good job balancing the three. However, a couple weeks into school realized that I had left out one extremely huge part... SCHOOL!!! Now that I went through some extremely stressful and tough weeks I finally feel like I have a handle on things again. It is difficult because I am used to being able to get ahead in all of my work and as an R.A. that just simply isn't realistic. I just did my Bible Study today for my Preaching and Teaching class which went very well (glad that is over). I love my major because not only am I getting an education, I am getting challenged spiritually. I really could not ask for more.
My relationship with Chirs is going great! He is a constant in my life and I could not thank him enough. We challenge each other constantly, urging one another to grow and to gravitate towards Christ. He is truly a blessing and some days I don't feel that I would be able to get out of bed if it were not for him.
Things at Vanguard are incredibly difficult right now. Because of financial trouble that has been building up for almost ten years our school has had to lay off a number of people. We just found out yesterday that three of our beloved staff members in Student Life are being let go. This may not seem like a big deal but one of them is our Dean of Students, Linda Hartzell. She is the most amazing people I have ever met. When you look at her you see Christ and she has a love for people that can only flow out of her love for Christ. The impact that she has has on this community cannot be summed up in words. Our department (student life), our Catalina R.A. staff, and our community are all taking a very hard hit with her leaving. Needless to say, we are all heartbroken. We feel as though a piece of the heart of Vanguard is being taken out. We know God still is holding us in his hands and I am trying to rest in that but we are broken as a school right now.
Life has been extremely challenging but I came into this year knowing that it would be. I have prayed for growth and to become more like Christ and that is never an easy experience. In order to be more like him, he has to break us! Please continue to pray for me, my friends, my school, and the girls on my floor. May God be glorified in all that we do! Blessings!

My world has been turned upside down...

2007-08-31T15:26:00.000-07:00

It has been over a month since I have blogged anything with good reason! I am back in Cali with a whole new life. All my preparation for R.A. has brought me to this floor of 36 beautiful women who I have the great privelege of pouring into this next year. When I first came back I left the next day for a retreat with all of the leadership of Vanguard (about 100 students). It was awesome! The weather was a little... or a lot too hot, there were flies EVERYWHERE but other than that it was amazing! We really got to bond with our staff and learn a lot about one another. I am an R.A. in Catalina, which is the sophomore girls dorm. I work alongside 7 other amazing women who already have taught me so much. My boss Bethany is incredible and I cannot wait to be mentored by her!

When we got back from leadership retreat my parents were here with all of my stuff!! God bless them! They are seriously just amazing! How blessed I am! They helped me get my room situated and my floor put together. I could not have done it without them! Thanks Mom and Dad:) That following Monday was my birthday along with the beginning of a pretty intense week of R.A. training. My birthday was great and my friends really blessed me! (My internet isn't working in my room right now so I can't put pictures on... sorry... they will be coming soon!)

My floor is all set up and I absolutely love it! The theme is The Gallery: Beauty Defined. God really placed this theme on my heart and I know it is what these girls need this year. Please join me in praying that we will learn to define our beauty in Christ. My girls arrived this past monday and it has been so fun getting to know them. I know I am where I am supposed to be. God has placed me in this position of leadership and I look forward to seeing what He has in store.

Hope life is treating you all well! Pictures will come soon!

One of those weeks...

2007-07-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have "one of those days?" Well it has been one of those weeks... I do not know what the deal has been but it seems as though nothing can go right lately. I mean everything from trying to plan things with friends, missing phone calls of people I really want to talk to, dropping things, banging my elbow on the counter really hard...

Last night I spent an entire hour talking to Gary from Qwest trying to get our password for our wireless. AN HOUR!!! And guess what?! We got absolutely nothing accomplished. NOTHING! Still don't know the password... still can't connect to our wirleness network on my new computer. Then today I tried to figure out all of the mail in rebate stuff to send in to MAC. Our computer would not download the form that I needed to send with all of the UPC codes and such to get the rebate. I worked on it for an hour in a half and yet again got nothing accomplished. Needless to say my life over the past few days has been one giant struggle. Oh well... What can ya do?! :)

Walking Step by Step...

2007-07-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

I am in disbelief and God's amazing provision in my life. This summer has been quite the adventure and it has taken yet again another surprising turn. As you know from my last blog, I just finished a job at my mom's work making benefit packets. I thought I was done with work for the summer. However, God had different plans. I got a call today from someone that works with Dr. Susan Mason (Julia's mom... the girl I hung out with at the very beginning of the summer for three weeks). The work in a doctor's office and one of the ladies that works there has been sick and can't return to work for a while. So, Dr. Mason suggested me. I was able to tell them whatever hours I was able to work and I'm getting $11 per hour!!! I just can't believe it. God has brought me step by step this summer as I walk in faith. He is such a faithful God! What a lesson of trust this summer has been!

Work...

2007-07-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about work... So I have been incredibly blessed this summer with jobs. I could not ask for more. However! This last one was quite interesting and extremely tiring. My job was to stuff benefit packets for the Human Resources department at Rockbottom Restaurants where my mom works in the corporate office. No big deal right? Easy job... easy money... no prob bob! So I agree to do this "lovely" job. I walk into this room to see boxes of supplies lining the hallway and all over the room. There are 3,000... count them THREE THOUSAND envelopes to be stuffed. AWESOME! So, I meet this fabulous lady JuNelle who I am pretty sure after the last week is one of my best friends despite her being much much older than me. Anyways, back to my ranting. JuNelle and I start to figure out the best and yes most efficient way of doing this. Each hour our technique improved and at some point we decided that we could even start a business going into large companies and doing their tedious work for them that no one else wants to do. (Now mind you that was at the very beginning of the week when we were nice and fresh.)

Let me set this up a little bit more for you... So there is a table right smack dab in the middle of the room where the stuffing commences. There are two different types of packets that need to be made for a couple hundred stores. Each employee receives some papers (in a specific order), a tube of chapstick and a toothbrush. (Random we know)! So we stand around this table stuffing envelopes for TEN hours a day... TEN!!! After each store we box them up and put them in the room next to ours to be sent off. Let me just say it again... we are doing tedious, monotonous, mindless work while standing on our feet hunched over a table for TEN HOURS PER DAY! Thank you Lord for this job right?!

By the third day JuNelle and I figured out the absolute best technique and we were on a roll. The end was in sight. I was using both hands at one time to grab the papers... we were basically envelope stuffing superwomen. We were going to finish these packets early, be the heroes of the company and get to go home early! Until... our boss came in and informed us that after we were done she had a few piles of filing that have been stacking up for a few months for us to do. WHAT?!?! I did not sign up for filing. I specifically wanted to stand over that stupid table in order to cause myself a tremendous amount of back pain thank you very much. JuNelle and I completely lost it! We were laughing... crying... basically having an emotional breakdown. SEE WHY?!?!

In the end I laughed a lot with my new found friend, did some random yoga throughout the week and made some money. I guess I can't complain too much!

Joanna came to town...

2007-07-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

This last weekend was filled with lots of fun and tons of laughter! My wonderful friend and roommate last year Joanna came to Colorado and stayed with me. Joanna is from Seattle (where I went earlier this summer to visit her). It is a little difficult when she comes to Colorado because both her best friend and her boyfriend live here... hard to coordinate schedules and balance time with both people. But while she was at my house we did all sorts of things. She is such a huge blessing in my life... the type of friend I have prayed for since I was in elementary school! I love you Joanna!!!!

We went to Seven Falls...

And the Cave of the Winds...

And the Garden of the Gods...

It was so much fun!! We laugh constantly:) I don't get to see her all next semester because she will be in Europe on Vanguard's study abroad program :(

2007-07-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

I take so many things for granted... Family, friends, the house I live in, the opportunity to go to college... the list goes on and on; not to mention my relationship with God. I look around me and I am blown away by all the many blessings that are in my life. My family for instance... how often does a child see their parents last 25 years in a marriage and still be very much in love? My parents have loved one another, me and my sister unconditionally for our entire lives. They care so much about my life and the choices I make. Their impact on my life cannot be summed up in words.

I have an amazing relationship with both of my parents. They are two of my closest friends and I love spending time with them. Who's parents would surprise their daughter for their 25th wedding anniversary?!?! I know... CRAZY! My parents did this past April and we had one of the best weekends of my life! How do all of the memorable and special moments get clouded by the bad? How do I let myself get annoyed? Why when my parents ask me to do a favor for them a do it with bad intentions sometimes instead of jumping up to help them out of my abundant love and appreciation for them? I take them for granted...

Or how about my amazing boyfriend?!?! He tells me daily how much he loves me and cares about me. He would drop anything at any given moment if I needed him by my side. He loves selflessly and gives humbly. Chris is one of the most giving, caring people I know who is always serving those around him. His passionate love for God is inspiring. I have prayed all my life for a man like Chris and now that he is in my life I take him for granted...

As many of you know I didn't really have many friends growing up. My whole life I prayed for people... or at least one person that would pour into me as I pour into them. I wanted someone to count on, someone who would be there for me. Now I have so many incredible friends I don't know what to do with myself. Robyn, Joanna, Cortney, Ashley, Mikaela, Anne, Chris, Kyle, Sharae, Rachael, Jen, Jenn... the list goes on and on. I'm sorry friends for the times that I have not been there for you. The times when I should have called, should have given you more time, should have made you more of a priority. I am sorry for the times I have taken you for granted!!
By the way... it wouldn't let me title this one!

You would think I would learn...

2007-07-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

One of the most annoying parts of being a college student that attends a university out of state is constantly moving. It is this strange time of life where you constantly move from place to place. Once I finally get settled in one place it is time to move again. Along with that moving comes job finding. Interestingly enough, in all of the many jobs I have had I have only had to apply and interview at one of them (Newport Mesa Church Nursery). Even the job I had at Sport Clips for four years of my life... I didn't have to apply! There has never been any searching involved whatsoever. I have always just figured God knows what I need a lot better than I do. Not only does He know what I need but He knows the desires of my heart. I have walked in faith that God would provide an opportunity for a job when I was supposed to be working. God has always proven Himself faithful!

This summer I came home wondering what in the world I was going to do. As great as Sport Clips was I did not want to return for a fifth year as a receptionist there. Pretty soon I got a phone call being offered an incredible job hanging out with a fourteen year old, Julia! That only would last three weeks and I started to panic as to what I was going to do next. Right when the three weeks was over I was offered money to watch a friend's dog! So cool!!!! I am done watching Aggie on the 14th of this month. July 16th my mom's office wants me to come in and work that week putting together packets. Every job has started up right as the other one has ended. How amazing is that?! God perfectly orchestrates things if you allow Him to! You would think I would learn that He is in control!!!

Green Tea and 1:30 in the morning...

2007-07-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

So, You are probably thinking I am a little obsessed about this whole blogging thing...
The truth is I have been trying to go to bed for the past two hours. Every time I lay my head on my pillow, a very comfy pillow I must say, my mind starts to go crazy. I laid here for several minutes thinking about a binder I should make for R.A. stuff... A BINDER!!!! After quite a long period of time I decided to turn my lamp back on and read more of Blue Like Jazz. A few chapters later the pillow was sounding quite nice since I have to get up for church in the morning. So, I lay head back down with the lights off to once again find my mind thinking about how I am going to decorate my room next year. It is really quite ridiculous. Then I remembered the venti green tea with melon sweetener sitting next to my bed... NO WONDER I AM STILL UP AND WIRED!!!!

Wanting to change the world...

2007-06-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have something that compells you to dream?! Or that one thing that sparks a desire in you to have an impact on other people's lives? Last night as I wandered off to bed at the Sheltons' home (in their very comfy guest bed I might add) I read a chapter of the book Blue Like Jazz. About half way through the chapter I found myself with a tear streaming down my cheek. It was not that what I had just read was some sob story made to make it's readers cry. Rather it was the fact that what the author was writing about broke my heart in a way that made me want to change it.
In his story of attending a very secular college as a Christian, Donald Miller writes something that struck me to my very core; he wrote: "these people hated the very idea of God and yet they cared about people more than I did." Could it be that Christians today have gotten so caught up in the rules and rituals of our "religion" that we have forgotten the very reason that we believe what we believe? Could it be that our relationships with God and with other people have been completely pushed aside in order to "preserve" a "holy life?" This quote struck me so hard because I know the truth that is behind it. Christians are often the LAST people will come to for help. We never offer help just because we want to show Christ's love... instead we offer help in order to bring people to our programs, churches and events. We are extremely quick to judge someone for not wearing the right thing to church on Sunday morning or for having too many tattoos but we fail to reach out to them in Christ's love.

I am completely moved and challenged. I truly want to change the world. I don't want to be someone that "sells God." I want people to see that I have a loving relationship with Him and that they can have one too. I want to be less of a "Christian" and more like Christ!!

A good way to stay connected...

2007-06-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!

I thought this would be a great way to stay connected to everyone. College is such an exciting but busy time of life. I really want you all to be a part of everything that is going on in my life. I really do feel like I am living in two completely different worlds... one at home surrounded by the people that know me best and surround me with their love constantly... they other 1000 miles away with very good friends and Disneyland just a hop, skip and a jump away.

Right now as most of you know I am home for the summer. I am finding fun and interesting ways to keep myself occupied. I just got done with a three week "job" in which I got paid to hang out with a fourteen year old... I'm not sure what could be better than that. I am working at ALCC, trying to take some things off Gareth's plate and loving every minute of it.

Sharae and I just got done planning and throwing my parents a party for their 25th wedding anniversary. They were so blessed and everyone had an amazing time!!! I have loved watching my parents and their love story. It has inspired me to never settle for less. Everything for the party turned out wonderful... aside from it being extremely hot!

I must say planning the party was one of my favorite things in the world to do. I could definitely plan parties as a hobby! SO FUN!

Now I am working on R.A. stuff for next year (I will have a floor of forty sophomore girls in my care...). I have a lot to do and not very much time to do it in. I would love all of the prayer I could get!

Aside from that I am working on Girls Institute for True Beauty which is the non-profit organization I am co-founding with Robyn. It is exciting to be a part of something so huge. Neither of us feel adequate enough for this amazing responsibility God has given us... Good thing we have Him on our side!!!

Well, I look forward to staying connected this way to all of you! (Thank you Rachael for the idea!) Have a wonderful and blessed week!